This weekend is Memorial Day Weekend and for the past three years, we have hosted what we refer to as “The Meatfest” at our house in early celebration of Memorial Day. This year will be no different except that the people on our guest list have mostly all agreed to drive to our house out in the boonies instead of respectfully declining to do such an odd thing in the past. We have 35 positives so far, a record, which strikes both great joy and great terror in my heart, Joy because parties mean beer and beer is fun, Terror because cooking enough dead cow, pig and fowl for 35 people is a rather large challenge.
I drove up to Rehoboth Ranch this morning to get the brisket, ribs, chicken and sausage. Their available briskets were a little on the small side so I’m going to add a regular non-grassfed, unorganic, fatty, Omega-6 having, Albertson’s one to ensure enough food. Also, because they do grassfed beef, the briskets are infinitely more lean and I worry about what I might produce on my virgin experience in smoking a lean brisket. This worry was compounded as the proprietor explained how it had a tendency to dry out if you screwed up. Yay Anxiety!
The Oprah brisket will go on the smoker tomorrow AM for its long, 18 hour journey from “big chunk of inedible gristle” to “sweet mother of mary that is good shit heaven on earth”. It should finish up around midnightish, plus or minus a couple of hours. The Richard Simmons brisket will make a smoky appearance on Sunday morning promptly at 6 AM to ensure readiness by 2 PM (it’s a much smaller brisket, remember so it shouldn’t take more than 7 hours). Richard will finish up in the oven starting around 10 and the ribs will do the smoky dance of love in his place. Chickens get violated around 11 and the sausage will just get thrown on the grill to warm and crisp up, being fully cooked all ready.
We’ll have the usual assortment of BBQ sides and condiments. We may have margaritas. We hope to not have rain but that’s up to the BBQ gods at this point. I may or may not write about updates as the weekend progresses, depending on how it progresses relative to being ready at 2 PM on Sunday for the hordes.